What Are We Paying Teachers to Teach?

Recently, while sitting at our dining room table enjoying a wonderful dinner of fast food with my family, a conversation occurred between my two eldest daughters, ages eight and twelve, that caused me to wonder at great length, yet again, why I bother sending them school at all.

Although short in duration, the conversation in question sent my mind reeling and caused my carbonated beverage of choice for the evening to come reeling out of my nose.

The discussion went something like this:
Eight year old: "why do they call them our fore fathers when there were only three of them?"
Twelve year old (while smacking eight year old in the back of the head): "You idiot! They call them our fore fathers because there were FOUR of them. Everybody knows that! They're all on Mount Rushmore!"

If I combine this new "knowledge" with the host of other misinformation that my children have come home from school spewing over the years, I have to conclude that, my teachers and professors were complete and total imbeciles, or, my children's are.

Some of the "knowledge" I have gained since my children started school is very much in conflict with what I was taught. For instance, did you know that Martin Luther King (Dr. and Jr. omitted by the teacher in question) freed the slaves? Somehow I missed that fact in history class.

I have also learned that there is no such thing as alphabetical order. I'm not kidding. My twelve year old brought her home work to me because she needed help. I read the directions, which by the way, appeared to have been written by my eight year old, and explained to her that she simply needed to put a list of words in alphabetical order and then underline all of the adjectives. She had no idea what I was talking about. Finally, after my frustration grew to astronomical heights, she got it! She said, and I quote, "Oh! I just need to put it all in ABC order and underline the describing words! Why didn't you just say that?" She, of course, walked away from me rolling her eyes as I proceeded to bang my head in vain against the table.

For the life of me I can't understand why, at twelve years old, her teachers continue to use terms like ABC order versus alphabetical order.
The only plausible reason I can come up with is that they are lazy. I have to assume that they are educated; they have degrees and teaching certificates, so surely they are familiar with basics like alphabetical order and the end of legalized slavery in the United States.

Is it really any wonder that as of 2003, American 15 year olds ranked 24th of 38 in mathematics, 19th of 38 in science, 12th of 38 in reading, and 26th of 38 in problem solving according to The Programme for International Student Assessment (http://www.pisa.oecd.org)?

While teachers unions all over the country are calling for increases in pay, I sit here and wonder what we are paying for. If it is my "job" to correct the multitude of "mistakes" my children's teachers make each year, shouldn't I be the one screaming for a pay raise?

33 year old pseduo-writer with a dark side some of my work is available at associated content.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/83027/erin_adams.html


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